Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
