i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
