Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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