Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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