We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
