I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
