we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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