i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
