Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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