At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
