I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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