What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
