Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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