so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
