well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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