i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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