Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
