Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize