20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
