Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
