this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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