If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
