lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
