so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
