what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
