I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
