dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
