these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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