new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
