I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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