Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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