Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
