I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
