I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We have so much sex to catch up on
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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