Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
