Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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