She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
