There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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