guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
