he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
