Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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