K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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