After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
