1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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