No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
