The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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