is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
