I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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