Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
