Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
