I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have feelings that need drinking.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
