The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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