You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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